My Computer Life

I cannot remember a time when I can really say I was happy. There was always something missing in my life.. I always seem to be looking for something. Just always beyond my reach.
Whatever it is.. I am hoping to find it sometime soon. My heart is heavy. My mind is numb. I'm feeling like I am missing out on something. Sitting here in front of the pc day in day out. Is there something out there? Something I can be doing? Something I can hope to find? Sometimes I feel that this computer emprisoned me in a web/cage of my own doing. Sometimes I feel like my life is one big computer software. I play. I work. Sometimes I even eat in front of the computer. I wake up and the first thing I do is switch on my pc and check my mail. Then I eat breakfast. Then back to the computer. I eat a little lunch and back to the computer. I rest for a while play with my son and help my daughter with her school work then off I go, back to the computer. i sleep very late, i start to sleep at around 1:00 or 2:00 am and wake up at 7am, sometimes earlier getting only about 3-4 hours of sleep. then same cycle goes on again. with only a little variation on the side. Like sometimes I go to the supermarket, or if there's a special occassion sometime then we go, but generally my life is here, sitting here in front of the pc.
Can you imagine, life just in front of the pc.

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