Ahhh... Life...

My patience is thin.  For years I have endured, exercised patience, understood every single fault because it is right. I know I'm not perfect that I have my own faults that he too endured my own baggage but he had to endure only mine... but for me, aside from his, I too had to endure his mother's, two sister's and nephew's and niece's. And the feeling and knowledge that I will never be first in his life, that his mom and family will be forever his first thought.  I have had to accept that from the get go. I'm tired. I have never been known for my patience and it has already been stretched to the limit, to the breaking point. I'm at my breaking point... coupled with the disappointment of not receiving a holiday bonus from work, the death of  someone I consider to be a friend, the hustle and bustle of the holidays. I am beaten. This battle is lost to me. I need to gather my strength to fight another day. If I don't I might find myself even more broken than I already am...
Life in general has been good to me but times like these, I feel like a little child whose toy was taken away and I'm hurt, sad, disappointed and I'm clinging to my faith so that I may find the right path once again...